The Same Difference
by CrystallineSolid
Summary: An argument. A realization. An uncertainty. True love? Greg/Nick.


Author's Note: Something that came to me while practicing for my art exam.

Summary: An argument. A realization. An uncertainty. True love? Greg/Nick.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, and I'm too lazy to write a more creative disclaimer.

* * *

Greg leaned back against the locker, letting the exhaustion of the day wash over him. There was nothing particularly upsetting to process, after Warrick died Ecklie had made sure of that. Yet there were still, as there always were, enough cases to go around, and Greg had done his share, and although neither he nor the team would admit it, he was picking up the slack.

It was a known fact among the team that Greg and Warrick hadn't been close. In fact, Greg was pretty sure that even at the bitter end, Warrick hadn't lost that last strand of suspicion of Greg, and, the truth was that, Greg wasn't even sure if he could call them friends. It was during the funeral in fact, that Greg had realised that, in that moment, he had fallen off the ladder. Everything he had done to earn the team's trust and respect had shattered, and he was as isolated as ever. Warrick hadn't been a best friend, or a surrogate son, or a potential love interest; no, Warrick had simply been a colleague. A colleague who he thought he was close enough to. He had thought that they were friends and it wasn't until Warrick was gone that he realized all that he was not to Warrick Brown.

Warrick Brown and Greg Sanders had been nothing more than colleagues, who had the potential of being more. So Greg worked harder than the rest, and let them, those who really mattered to Warrick, grieve for him. It was not that he did not grieve, he did dearly. But that was over and done with. He had grieved on the plane ride over to Vegas, and he had grieved the following night. That was enough. It had to be because he had to hold the team together. For the first time he had to be the glue. So he wouldn't grieve; he couldn't grieve. Nick could grieve, and Catherine and Grissom but not him. He didn't have the right to grieve, and he wouldn't. People called him flippant, and maybe he was, but right then, he wasn't being flippant. No, he was simply doing what he had to. And he knew the only thing he could do was to help out at work. He would leave the comforting to the grievers. He was working till he dropped, and giving the team time to recover. And he was doing a good job too. At least he thought he was.

Perhaps that was why he was surprised when Nick entered the locker room, with a murderous look in his eye. At first Greg thought that a case had gotten to Nick, but he quickly found that Nick's anger was directed at him.

"What the _hell _is wrong with you?!" yelled Nick, exploding into the room. Greg sat shell-shocked, acutely aware of every tensing muscle in Nick's jaw.

"Nick?" said Greg fearfully, his voice no louder than a whisper. "What happened?"

"_What happened!" _Nick fumed. And then he laughed; and it was cold; and it scared Greg more than anything. "Of _course_ you wouldn't know. You're so _dismissive_, and _immature_, and that's exactly the problem!"

"Don't yell at me Nick," said Greg quietly, his head turned away. He heard Nick sigh, trying to control himself. Greg turned reluctantly towards Nick, but didn't have time as Nick pulled him up by the collar. The velocity of Nick's yank sent Greg flying into the locker. Pain traveled up his spine, knowing that Nick hadn't meant to hurt him, and that scared him more. Nick was a loaded gun, and his anger was about to pull the trigger. He winced, but was sure that Nick hadn't noticed. He was right for rage had clouded his senses.

"Warrick just died Greg! He died three bloody weeks ago! And you're flirting with the new girl!" exclaimed Nick in disgust. "I thought you were better than that. You're flirting with my best friend's replacement."

"That exactly my point!" cried Greg. "You can't keep thinking like that. She's not Warrick's replacement, and she's not the new girl. She's just Riley. She's new, and the entire team is scaring her off. Don't you realize that she needs encouragement! And Warrick was your best friend, so you can give her shit for a little while. But she needs someone to be nice to her. Warrick was your best friend but-"

"Is." said Nick

"What?"

"Warrick _is_ my best friend. No one can replace him." replied Nick coldly.

It cut Greg deeply. And it hurt, because as much as Greg had tried to comfort Nick, he hadn't even thought of taking Warrick's place as a friend. And Nick knew that. Nick believed that. And Greg, naively believed that he did something wrong, where as it was just that Nick knew him so well that he knew what would hurt the most.

Greg swallowed hard, and turned away, knowing that his emotions were written out on his face. Knowing that Nick could see the hurt in his eyes. Knowing that Nick knew, even as he looked away, knew that he was upset. Greg knew he would see a smugness mixing with Nick's anger. And he didn't want to see that.

So he grabbed his backpack, and he left.

* * *

Nick watched Greg though, quietly, unseen, from the shadows. Nick watched Greg as he gradually started working less doubles. He watched as Greg continued to lose whatever innocence he had left. He watched as Greg slowly began to become more violent, letting off steam by kicks to his locker door, and silent tears when it got bad. He watched as he slowly grew closer to Riley. He observed the glances they shot at each other, and how much they talked, whether it be about their professional life or personal. He watched as Greg grew happier, and even though he was losing his innocence, Nick realized that Riley was good for him. H realized that she was what kept him sane. He sighed, if he was happy that Greg had found someone, why was there some part of him that wished Riley would just fuck off.

It had been three weeks since the fight, and Nick and Greg had only spoken when necessary. Still they were acting quite friendly, even though Greg was still smarting from Nick's accusation. He wasn't sure why, but he just couldn't let it go. He had never stayed angry at someone for this long, and he knew it was affecting his work. Riley had said that it was because somewhere inside of him he was unsure of himself, and that Nick's words had only added fuel to the fire. She told him to talk to Nick; to work it out. She was quite the psychiatrist, and Greg was sure that all the Freudian quotations her parents had thrown at her hadn't gone quite as over her head as she thought.

"Greg?"

"Nick"

"I...ah..." Nick was at a loss of words, everything that he had rehearsed escaping him, when Greg's dark melancholy eyes met his. "I'm sorry."

"Nick... You were right. I was being flippant, and you had every right to say what you did."

"No Greg. I didn't. We all have different ways of dealing, and that was your way. I didn't give Riley a chance. None of us did. And I'm sorry for that."

Greg looked at Nick, searching his eyes. Nick could feel him look over him, and felt naked under Greg's gaze. "I shouldn't have said what I did. I was angry; at Warrick for leaving us, and I'm an ass, I took it out on you. And you didn't know him Greg, you didn't know Warrick. Not the way I did. And he had his problems but he was a good person. I was pissed off and I took it out on you. The truth is that I was being I didn't think you were trying to be Warrick. I was just so angry..." Nick trailed off, looking at Greg for forgiveness. Greg looked down and when his gaze met his, it was filled with sadness and something else, something Nick couldn't decipher. Damn he wished he could read Greg better.

"I'll never be as good as he was," whispered Greg. " Not as a CSI, not as a friend. Not even as a person. I mean, I killed a teenager," he said his voice slowly rising. "I'm a murderer, and he's just...Warrick. He's Warrick and I'm Greg. And that's the problem. And I'll never-"

Greg was silenced by Nick's lips against his and he leaned into Nick. H whimpered pitifully as Nick shifted so that his lips were against Greg's ear. "You don't need to be Warrick. Greggo is just fine," Nick whispered against Greg's ear. " Flamboyant, whimsical, eccentric, wacky Greg Sander. Nothing more, Nothing less," Nick pulled away completely, and turned away, leaving Greg wanting more.

"My place?" he offered weakly.

"You're no Warrick Greg. And Warrick's no you," said Nick without turning, and Greg could see Nick's brow furrowing," Plus Warrick was straight."

X

It probably sucks, but I was plagued by exams and was just like what the hell, I'll just post it anyway. It's kind of halfway, and it is my first go at The Love so advice please!


End file.
